If you're among the 25–30 percent of Americans who are obese, I urge you to make some changes, not only for your own sake, but for the sake of those who love you. The obesity-related risk for diseases like diabetes, cancer, arthritis, sleep apnea, hypertension, and heart disease is very real.

Surprisingly, most physicians are not inherently knowledgeable about weight management or nutrition. Our training emphasizes disease diagnosis and treatment intervention with pharmaceutical drugs—even though sound nutrition and the maintenance of a prudent weight remain two of the best defenses anyone has against all the leading causes of disability and death. Knowing this, I have pursued extensive training in nutrition and learned first-hand about the psychology of obesity.

As the former director of a weight loss program at Manchester (Conn.) Memorial Hospital, I've had the opportunity to work with many obese individuals on a long-term basis. Through this work I became keenly aware that weight loss is not just a physical struggle—eating disorders are critically linked to our emotions.

The Liberating Art of Self-Restraint

Shedding pounds is not about a crash diet that you do for 30 days, or tripping from guru to guru looking for quick-fix results. Weight loss takes self discipline and a clear goal. In fact, healthy eating, exercise, self-awareness, self-esteem, and inner peace all can only be realized once you have a serious conversation with yourself about self-discipline.

Just think about the word discipline itself. It comes from the root word "disciple," or "follower." A true follower of any branch of knowledge incorporates into his or her daily life a way of being consistent with that discipline, such as an elite athlete, who would never dream of relaxing with a bag of potato chips and a half gallon of ice cream.

And it's not all about punishment or denial. Discipline is ultimately the backbone of a meaningful life. It allows you to do and achieve the things you really want, not just what seems appealing in the moment.

For the same reasons I like the word "discipline," I dislike the word "diet," as it's commonly used in regard to weight loss. Dieting generally implies a temporary change in the way you eat, instead of a permanent shift in the way you perceive yourself in relationship to food. Dieting also implies deprivation. Taking a holistic approach to weight loss, on the other hand, prevents using dieting as yet another neurotic expression of an unresolved self. The vicious cycle of hating your body, going on a diet, losing weight, gaining the weight back, hating yourself and your body must be interrupted and healed. Such habits are disrespectful to your entire being—body, mind, and spirit.

Make Your List

So let's get started on a path of discipline. Right now, while you're thinking about it, get a pen and paper and write down three things you can start doing this week to signify your commitment to a healthy lifestyle. Even if you're in a good weight range and feel you make nutritious food selections, I'd bet there's something more you could do to improve your health and vitality overall—and I include myself when I say this.

Even though my wife and I have good health habits, we too miss the mark from time to time. Periodically, I find that I need to re-commit myself to my program, as well as discover new ways to exercise self-discipline.

Here are my three commitments:

• Prepare fresh fruits and vegetables in a juicer three times a week, and drink them as a meal replacement.
• Exercise one hour per day, five days a week (walking and lifting weights).
• Abstain from any products made from white flour, and alcohol, except for an occasional glass of wine. (Both are like putting white sugar in the body because they have the same rollercoaster effect on insulin levels.)

Follow the Ten Commandments

While we're at it, the following is my list of "commandments" for true healing. If you're not already doing many of these, I don't recommend trying to start all at once. That's a set-up for becoming overwhelmed. Instead, incorporate a few, and then gradually add more when you're ready.

1. Eat natural, high-fiber foods and include healthy fats—monounsaturated fats and omega-3s—as much as possible.
2. Exercise at least four hours a week.
3. Drink water 8–12 glasses of distilled water a day.
4. Get lots of fresh air. Make it a point to enjoy the early morning hours outside.
5. Avoid most processed foods, chemicals, trans fats, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and preservatives (nitrates, benzoates, MSG, etc.).
6. Take vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients, and green foods.
7. Forgive yourself and accept yourself exactly the way you are. You can't heal if you're harboring anger. Acceptance is also the only way to be able to accept others where they are.
8. Reduce stress. Take up Qigong, T'ai Chi, yoga, or meditation. Pray more. (These are in addition to other exercise.)
9. Seek out connections. Get support from friends, your spouse or partner, church or synagogue—even a pet. Losing weight can be a very lonely proposition. For my patients with heart disease who need to change what they eat, I always put the spouse on the same eating plan because it's healthy for them too. That way, the patient is more apt to stick with it.
10. Seek out healthy ways to nurture yourself daily. Get a massage or a haircut, take a hot bath, go to a movie, play with your pet, read that novel you've wanted to read.

Tending to the Spirit

If you're healthy right now, prevention is key. There's no time to spare to get on a health-promoting lifestyle for mind, body, and spirit. 

A spiritual practice will also help temper the overly rigid approach that some people have to food. In the hospital-based program I ran, rigid folks usually had great weight loss, but they often "crashed" at some point if they had not dealt with spiritual and psychological issues. By the same token, if you do address spiritual and emotional needs but don't do anything else at first, you may be happily surprised to find yourself relying less and less on food for comfort and self-soothing. That alone may start the weight-loss ball rolling.

Tune In Next Month

Once you master the art of discipline, you’ll be ready to delve into the psychological aspects of losing weight. So write down your three commitments—either from my list of ten commandments or of your own creation—and put them into practice. Then come back to my Web site next month. We’ll see how well you’ve done with your list, and uncover any emotional blocks that may be holding you back.

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Take your time going through the site. There’s a lot of critical information here, including:

PAMM-Diet Support Center 

My modified Mediterranean eating plan is really much more than a “diet” in the conventional sense—it’s a way of eating that I hope becomes a way of life for you. In the section, I’ll tell you about this eating plan, how I came to develop it, why it’s so good for you, and what you can do to start enjoying the delicious and colorful foods that form the foundation of the program. Here you can learn: 

• why the Pan Asian Modified Mediterranean diet is right for you;
• why all fats aren’t bad;
• why you should include more fish and eggs in your diet; and
• more information you need to know about what you can eat and what you should avoid on the PAMM diet.

Exercise Support Center

Get moving! Exercise helps to boost your health and help you lose weight. Regular exercise also helps you relax and reduce stress, a vital part of overcoming the habit of eating nervously, or confusing a feeling of anxiety with hunger. At its best, exercise can be part meditation, part prayer, part workout. That’s what I’d like you to engage in—movement for movement’s sake. Read here to find out why you can and should include regular, moderate exercise in your weight loss program, such as: 

• aerobics;
• weight training; and
• stretching.

Behavioral and Motivational Support Center

Whether you want to shed 15 pounds or 150 pounds—or more—you first need to start working on the psychological and emotional aspects of your relationship with food. An honest look at what prompts you to eat and when, and a careful examination of your attitudes and beliefs about food and your eating behaviors, will keep you from backsliding into old patterns at the first sting of emotional stress.

In theory, losing weight should be easy—you simply expend more energy than you take in. But if losing weight were truly that straight-forward, none of us would be overweight! You probably know from experience that the process doesn’t work in such a linear fashion. It's much more than just a physical struggle. This section is designed to give you the information you need to: 

• develop a support system;
• learn what’s eating you;
• figure out why you’re stuffing your emotions; and
• understand how to deal with weight loss plateaus.

Nutritional and Supplement Support Center

There is no shortcut on the path to weight loss. Even the simplest weight loss programs can be difficult to follow at times. That’s why I encourage you to use safe, natural supplements to help you on your way to reach a normal, healthy weight. When you incorporate them into your new and healthier lifestyle, they can help enhance your efforts to eat with more awareness and to exercise more, increase your metabolism, and provide extra support as you make progress toward weight loss and maintenance. Get the truth about: 

• L-carnitine;
• green tea; and
• the other powerful nutrients that can help you reach your goals.

I want you to know that I’m with you the entire way. Your success is my motivation. It’s the reason my work is so important to me. I know this is the start of a long journey, but it’s a glorious one as well. If you follow my advice, your weight loss journey will lead you to successes you never dreamed possible. Just take it one step at a time and stay motivated.