Whether you want to shed 15 pounds or 215 pounds, if you want to be successful at long-term weight loss, you must examine your attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors around food. Otherwise, it's almost guaranteed that you'll backslide into old eating patterns at the first sign of emotional stress.

Theoretically, losing weight is one of the easiest things to do—you simply expend more energy (measured in calories) than you take in. But as you probably know from experience, the process is not that straightforward in practice.

No Support System

The combination of poor discipline, which I discussed last month, and inadequate support is a disastrous one for weight loss. By support, I mean that co-workers, friends, and family help reinforce you in the process of weight loss or whatever personal goal you are trying to reach.

Sadly, many overweight individuals lack support, often from the time they were children. They usually come from families where achieving was more important than being, and where there was little acceptance of the children as they were. Their parents let them know in one way or another that they didn't measure up.

But the truth is that too much pressure, for adults or children, only tempts people to rebel or to loathe their shortcomings—and consequently themselves. What they need more than anything is acceptance and encouragement.

The supportive atmosphere among the participants of the Optifast program, for example, was a big factor in their individual successes. The group met once a week, but members would also call one another when in danger of "slipping" to get encouragement they needed to make healthier choices. By contrast, if a woman cooks for a family, and family members put their desires for unhealthy foods over her needs, then it's almost impossible for her to lose weight.

Of course, we all need to support ourselves from within, too, and have the courage of our convictions in interactions with others. But some people back away from such confrontations, externally acquiescing to everyone else's wants and needs, while padding themselves with fat rather than dealing with their anger at their own self-betrayal.

Stuffing Emotions

For people who are chronically overweight, food becomes a vehicle with which to block uncomfortable emotions—usually anger, fear, shame, frustration, guilt, loneliness, and sadness. In their book Overcoming Overeating (Random House, 1998), Jane Hirschmann and Carol Munter distinguish between "stomach hunger" (when you eat to fill your body because your stomach is empty) and "mouth hunger" (when you're reaching for something to put in your mouth because you're experiencing a difficult emotion).

People who eat from stomach hunger have a healthy relationship with food, whereas those eating from mouth hunger do not. Some of you may find yourself doing both at different times, but it's an important detail to acknowledge. For many of us, it's hard to take in love, but easy to take in food. So, in a cruel irony, we can be physically full, yet emotionally starved. The fact that obesity is rising in the United States means that we all must have something in common when it comes to abusing food…and yes, that's a strong statement, but I believe many of us do abuse food—and therefore ourselves.

Get a Handle on What's Eating You

To help understand what role emotions play in my patients' eating patterns, I have them ask themselves some tough questions (see "Are You Eating Your Way Out of Emotions?" on below). Try it yourself. Any "yes" response indicates a situation where you're eating out of mouth hunger.

If you answered yes to at least three questions, you need to take an honest look at your relationship with food. To help uncover your own subconscious drives, I suggest writing out answers to the following questions:

• Am I able to take in love from my partner? My children? Family? Friends? Do I keep certain thoughts and feelings to myself to avoid possible rejection?
• When in pain, do I turn toward loved ones for support, or do I push them away and isolate myself? Why do I react this way?
• Am I getting something out of being overweight? Does it get me off the hook for sexual intimacy? Is it an excuse not to be more active? Does it get me help and sympathy from others?

The Sinatra Solution

If you're healthy right now, prevention is key. There's no time to spare to get on a health-promoting lifestyle for mind, body, and spirit. 

If you've identified that emotions are ruling your eating, then you can start to change the way you think. For example, are you a card-carrying member of the "Clean Plate Club"? Many of us are. It may have started in childhood, when you were pushed to clean your plate out of guilt for the "starving children." If you still feel that it's somehow wrong to leave food, even if your body signals that it's full, then this unconscious belief is probably part of what's driving you. Bring it to consciousness, and you are then free to choose whether to clean your plate.

This is what needs to be done at every turn—especially when you get the urge to dig into your favorite comfort food. Stop and ask yourself what's really going on. Writing about it for a minute or two is even better. If you keep a journal like this for a few weeks, patterns will start to emerge, and I think you'll be happily surprised at the insights you gain.

To read Weight Loss: The First Step in Any Behavior Change (Part One) Click here... 

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Take your time going through the site. There's a lot of critical information here, including:

PAMM-Diet Support Center 

My modified Mediterranean eating plan is really much more than a "diet" in the conventional sense—it's a way of eating that I hope becomes a way of life for you. In the section, I'll tell you about this eating plan, how I came to develop it, why it's so good for you, and what you can do to start enjoying the delicious and colorful foods that form the foundation of the program. Here you can learn: 

• why the Pan Asian Modified Mediterranean diet is right for you;
• why all fats aren't bad;
• why you should include more fish and eggs in your diet; and
• more information you need to know about what you can eat and what you should avoid on the PAMM diet.

Exercise Support Center

Get moving! Exercise helps to boost your health and help you lose weight. Regular exercise also helps you relax and reduce stress, a vital part of overcoming the habit of eating nervously, or confusing a feeling of anxiety with hunger. At its best, exercise can be part meditation, part prayer, part workout. That's what I'd like you to engage in—movement for movement's sake. Read here to find out why you can and should include regular, moderate exercise in your weight loss program, such as: 

• aerobics;
• weight training; and
• stretching.

Behavioral and Motivational Support Center

Whether you want to shed 15 pounds or 150 pounds—or more—you first need to start working on the psychological and emotional aspects of your relationship with food. An honest look at what prompts you to eat and when, and a careful examination of your attitudes and beliefs about food and your eating behaviors, will keep you from backsliding into old patterns at the first sting of emotional stress.

In theory, losing weight should be easy—you simply expend more energy than you take in. But if losing weight were truly that straight-forward, none of us would be overweight! You probably know from experience that the process doesn't work in such a linear fashion. It's much more than just a physical struggle. This section is designed to give you the information you need to: 

• develop a support system;
• learn what's eating you;
• figure out why you're stuffing your emotions; and
• understand how to deal with weight loss plateaus.

Nutritional and Supplement Support Center

There is no shortcut on the path to weight loss. Even the simplest weight loss programs can be difficult to follow at times. That's why I encourage you to use safe, natural supplements to help you on your way to reach a normal, healthy weight. When you incorporate them into your new and healthier lifestyle, they can help enhance your efforts to eat with more awareness and to exercise more, increase your metabolism, and provide extra support as you make progress toward weight loss and maintenance. Get the truth about: 

• L-carnitine;
• green tea; and
• the other powerful nutrients that can help you reach your goals.

I want you to know that I'm with you the entire way. Your success is my motivation. It's the reason my work is so important to me. I know this is the start of a long journey, but it's a glorious one as well. If you follow my advice, your weight loss journey will lead you to successes you never dreamed possible. Just take it one step at a time and stay motivated.